there are only 24 hours in a day. well. except.

Hello, readers.

It’s Monday. A blanket of grey clouds has been tossed over London. I’ve just realized yesterday, the 21st, was the winter solstice. We’re half way out of the dark.*

Later in the week, I’ll be traveling to Kent with EG. There will be 7 children under the age of thirteen. And several children over 30. I don’t know if it will snow. On Boxing Day, we (EG and I) will be in charge of brunch, which I believe is the traditional Boxing Day feast, as no one, most likely, will be quite ready to wake up for breakfast. There will, most like, be eggs and muffins and pancakes and granola and fruit. And that should be good, then.

The year, being almost over, and December being Christmas, and Christmas being ghosts, I find myself thinking about the dead and the past and the living in a way all a bit shimmery, like, perhaps, I’ve lost myself in the blanket of clouds. Or that I’m experiencing weather-related emotions. One of the things I remember is Sarah Lee Butter Pecan Coffee cake. Which we would, most always, have on Christmas morning when I was a kid. One year, much later, I made a coffee cake of my own for Christmas and for to share with mom and sister. For some reason, this memory makes me sad, but not sad, more a sense of sharp joy, felt and gone. A bit like being stabbed. Memories are like that, sometimes. As are yearnings, which are memories of a future that haven’t happened yet.

The tricky thing about yearning is that the joy is imagined and so, the knife, more a probability blade, one that could cut in any one of an infinite ways.

but. well.

Memory and imagination. Ghosts. Joy. Sorrow.

The gift of the season, if you’re lucky, is having someone to unwrap all those feelings with. Maybe on a sofa. Maybe with a cup of cocoa, or hot tea, your feet rubbing together. Something of your past on the television. A Christmas Story. A Grinch. And then, in the morning, all the many children, and the beautiful noise.

Happy Monday, readers.


*I read this just now. Only 4 days in a year last 24 hours. The rest, do not. We live in a model world, readers.

reporting anything unusual won’t hurt you

Hello, readers.

Yesterday, I fell into the you-hole, which is a word I just made up and would like to unmake now. Can I do that? Okay. Well. Anyway. I watched a bunch of videos from marinashutup. They’re cool. calm. collected. And she says fuck sometimes in a way that conceals a wonderful amount of rage. I seem to be talking a lot about rage lately. Perhaps, I’m just paying attention.


I read some YouTube comments. OMG. I KNOW. But, I did. And I learned that what some people call sexism other people call biological evolutionary competitive peacocking, which I believe also is the cause of erectile dysfunction.

also. also.

I watched another YouTube video, recommended in the sidebar underneath marina’s videos, in which a videographer of occasional reality purported to undermine a particular idea of Anita Sarkeesian’s concerning the influence of media (and video games as a whole) by demonstrating that some 10 billion people had been killed in video games, or possibly this one game, and, WELL OBVIOUSLY THIS HASN’T LED TO 10 BILLION PEOPLE BEING KILLED IRL SO SHUT UP ALREADY ABOUT HOW VIDEO GAMES INFLUENCE REALITY.

also. also. also.

Yesterday, the Senate Intelligence Committee released their report on the ENHANCED INTERROGATION TECHNIQUES (or, ETI’s for short, or TORTURE, for slightly less occasional reality) that the United States sometimes maybe definitely engaged in, and then lied about, in terms of its existence and its efficacy.

What’s good to know is that in our culture, where some believe there’s this ridiculous idea that narratives of violence have an effect on the culture at large, we continue to see that IRL THERE’S NO EVIDENCE ANY SUCH UBIQUITY OR ACCEPTANCE OF VIOLENCE AGAINST OTHER HUMAN BEINGS EXISTS AT ALL WHATSOEVER GOOD ON US EVERYONE CAN GO HOME NOW.

After all, violence is in our nature. Why not in our video games, movies, books, and Senate Intelligence reports. Why would we ever want to act different from our nature anyway? Our nature is AWESOME. It is totally EXCEPTIONAL and also just like all the other animals and animals, also, AWESOME BECAUSE PANDAS ARE SO CUTE.

Yes. Well. Not entirely sure where this is going except that there’s some value in, on occasion, occasionally questioning your own nature, and your preferred narratives, and whether or not you really want to watch or act in yet another demonstration of violence being the way for to win.

Happy Wednesday, readers.

Don’t read the comments.

except. well.